Day #329 – Can you? Will you?

I’ve spent a few posts writing about my personal struggles with Tucker’s sister, Estelle.  I don’t struggle with her…I simply struggle because I just can’t do as much for her as I want.  She is a most amazing little creature and I do my best…but I know the truth.

I know she feels slighted.
I know she feels life is a bit unfair.

Can you?
Will you?

Can you do something for a neurotypical sibling?
Will you do something for a neurotypical sibling?

On Sunday my mom came to get Estelle for Grandma Camp.  Now, I’m not sure what Grandma Camp entails – but I’m pretty sure it’s plenty of spoiling and lots of attention.  Just what she deserves…no, it’s not what she needs.  It’s what she deserves.

She deserves that and so much more.  She understands Tucker – she is patient – she is wise beyond her years. Yeah, yeah…this will serve her well in the long-run of life, but you know what?   How many us understood this ‘long-run’ of life at age 11?

I could write about all of the personal benefits she receives rom having Tucker as her sibling.  Having Tucker as a brother has taught her to be patient, to negotiate, to communicate, to express feelings, to be compassionate, to advocate, to recognize differences, to not judge…

But let’s be real.  She’s still just 11.

Can you?
Will you?

You know, this isn’t just about children with an autism spectrum disorder.  This is about all families who have a little extra something.  Maybe that extra something is diabetes, maybe that extra something is childhood cancer, maybe that extra something is Cerebral Palsy, maybe that extra something is ADD/ADHD, maybe that extra something is Down Syndrome, maybe that extra something is a Cleft Palate.  The real question is…

Can you?
Will you?

Of course you can. You can make a difference in a child’s life.  It’s easy.  These siblings?  All they need is a little personal attention, a little one-on-one time, moments where they are the center of attention, time without any distraction.  They don’t need gifts or money – they don’t need theme parks or shopping trips.  They simply need someone to make them #1.

Of course you can.  The real question is will you?

Will you take this sibling and make them the center for a moment, a day, a night, a weekend?  Will you change their life by making a moment about them?

Take them to a movie.
Take them out to eat.
Take them for a cone.
Take them to a park.

Talk to them – make them feel like they are the most important person in the world.
Play a game with them – make them feel like they are the most important person in the world.
Take them fishing – make them feel like they are the most important person in the world.

Can you?  Yes.

Will you?  It’s up to you.

Be a part of a village.


3 thoughts on “Day #329 – Can you? Will you?

  1. Carlo, my 2nd grandchild, is 6months younger than Ian.while they were both born and grew up in the same house were we all lived together, I took care of Ian full time because his mom is a single mom, and Carlo was taken cared of by his parents.
    With Ian and a full house to attend to, there was just very little time and energy left (I am suffering from a slipped disk). I haved always felt guilty towards this child, and in my heart is a dull ache. I never got to enjoy his babyhood. When he was already walking, i took him out with me several times so we can have a special time together.but he’s always asking for his cousin Ian. I ended up taking both boys together in their fave playplace.
    Last year they moved to their own home.i come by frequently to see him.but a few months after, Ian was diagnosed with a difficulty and my world was like it crumbled. I got consumed with this ‘ thing’!
    I am missing Carlo badly and would visit him in their house, but my mind is so preoccupied I go home feeling empty.
    The other night I dreamed about my grandchild. I was supposed to pick him up in school but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t reach his school!
    I know it’s just a dream, still it bothers me.


  2. Pingback: Day #338 – Babysitting | 366 Days of Autism

  3. Pingback: Day #327 – Indexing | 366 Days of Autism

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