Day #322 – I Lie

I do.

I know I shouldn’t, but I do.

I lie for my sanity and I wish more parents would admit this fact.  If for no other reason than I wouldn’t feel quite so guilty and alone.

On Day #31 – Stuck Tuck I explained and wrote about how Tucker will get stuck on something and not let it go. NOT. LET. IT. GO.

This time he’s stuck and I’m telling all kinds of lies.  Just call me Pinocchio.

1308292921_pinocchio

A good friend of his snapchatted his ‘new’ class schedule to him to see if they had any classes together.  Of course, we got right online to see if we could see his new schedule.  He only had one thing on his schedule – the time he spends with his Special Education teacher (which is also his study hall).

Then an hour went by and we checked again…another hour, and again…another hour, and again.

After five hours I contacted one of his teachers to see if she knew anything about the ‘release’ of schedules.    I did this partially so I could say, “I sent a message to Ms. X.  I’ll let you know when I hear back from her.”

That worked…until the next morning.  When I still didn’t have a response from Ms. X. I began lying.

“Tucker, scheduling is done in alphabetical order.  Your friend’s last name begins with a C.  Yours begins with a J.  You’ll just have to wait.” Lie #1.
“Okay mom.  How many students do you think have each letter for their last name?”
“Huh?”
“Like…how many D last names, E last names, F last names, G last names, H last names, I last names, last names until Jo, because then it would be my turn.”
Stunned look on my face.
“I have no idea Tucker.  Why don’t you start thinking about all the kids you know and counting yourself?”
“Okay.”

Two hours later.

“They should be E by now.  Seriously mom, it can’t take more than an hour per letter.  Did you hear from Ms. X”
“Yes.  She’s going to ask around next week and get back to us.”
“Next week???  If it’s in alphabetical order it will for sure be done by then.”

This time I gently nodded to avoid lying…but to also avoid any sort of committal.  While at the same time, feeling like I need to be committed.

Friday at 3 PM.

“Mom, they have to be to the J’s by now, it’s been 5 hours.”

Check the computer.  Still no schedule.

“I’m sorry Tucker.”

Saturday morning.

“Mom, check the computer”
“Tucker, it’s Saturday.”
“Mom, I know but we drove by the school and there were cars there.  I bet teachers are getting ready for the year.”

Check the computer.  Still no schedule.

Sunday morning.

“Mom, check the computer.”
“Tucker, it’s Sunday – I guarantee no one is working.”
“I just don’t understand how it’s not done yet.  There has been way more than enough time since I received that snapchat.”
“Well, Tucker.  I bet they do ALL the schedules at the same time – so it’s not just the 8th grade they are working through but 5-8 grades.  If you consider that…think of all the letters for all the students that are between C and J.” Lie #2
“Good point mom.”

Monday morning.  6 AM.

“Mom, check the computer.”
“Tucker, it’s 6 AM.  No one has been to school to get any work done.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do know that.  I’m friends with the administrators on FB, they were all out of town this weekend.  Let them get back to work.  We’ll check around noon.”  Lie #3.
“Oh…Okay.”

Monday, noon.

“Mom, check the computer.”

His schedule has since arrived…thank goodness.  I told three lies here.  I know we shouldn’t lie to our children.  Why did I lie?

  1. Lie #1 – It was driving me crazy – not him.  IT…the situation.
  2. Lie #2 – He began to blame his ‘lack of schedule’ on his IEP.
  3. Lie #3 – It was driving me crazy – not him.  IT…as in not having the information to help him.

I’m sorry – but I lie.  I lie to retain my sanity.  I lie to help him.  It’s true – and this isn’t the first time.

Nor will it be the last.

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8 thoughts on “Day #322 – I Lie

  1. I talk about this all of the time with my husband. I lie too and mostly it’s “wow honey that’s a beautiful picture”. Meanwhile it’s ugly but I can’t break my kids heart!

    Like

  2. Pingback: Day #327 – Indexing | 366 Days of Autism

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