I hope you have seen the ‘viral’ post by fellow blogger Ashley Shaw (http://themighty.com/2014/10/10-things-id-tell-myself-about-our-autism-diagnosis-if-i-could-go-back-in-time/). She wrote a post about the 10 things she would go back in time and tell herself upon learning of an autism diagnosis. I had several friends send me the link and each time I read it, I found myself nodding.
Nodding in approval.
Nodding through tears.
Nodding in solidarity.
Nodding through laughter.
Autism can and does consume your life. Always thinking about what’s next, always wondering about how life. I do love reading about others’ experiences though, I am continually learning from others. Ms. Shaw advised against what she called, ‘Autism Tunnel Vision.’
I love this – because it’s so, so, so hard…
This is especially important and especially true – not EVERYTHING is about having autism.
Sometimes he is cranky because he’s cranky.
Sometimes he’ll lash out simply because he’s angry.
Sometimes he’ll misbehave because he’s a child.
Sometimes he won’t eat something because he’s not hungry.
Sometimes he’s quiet simply because he doesn’t want to talk.
The trick is knowing and understanding when it’s about having autism and knowing when it’s just being human.
I don’t have the answer except to do the best you can.
Tonight on the way home Tucker said to me, “Mom, you’re a perfect mom.” I was quick to correct him – I said, “Sweets, no one is perfect. Thank you for saying such a kind thing. I do the very best I can, but I always wish I could do better.”
This week I did something to my neck and I’m still in some pretty significant pain. I came to my bed to lay down about an hour ago knowing I needed to finish this post. He came to me and rubbed my neck. I told him that I was very sorry but there was no way I would be able to tuck him in…I can barely move.
He proceeded to pull back my covers and fluff my pillows. He said, “Mom, this is why you are perfect. I know just what to do. I’m sorry you hurt so much. Let me tuck you in tonight. I love you.”
I wish everyone could know my Tucker, the Tucker that resides in my house. The Tucker when life isn’t chaotic and things are comfortable. This kind behavior may have to do with autism. We’ve done so much work with emotion recognition and appropriate reaction.
It may also just be a boy loving his mama.