I value weird.
I value self-expression.
I value unique.
Truly – I value all things odd.
So – sometimes I wonder whether Tucker’s behaviors are spectrum-related or just that he’s grown up in an environment where it’s okay to be himself.
I recently read a fellow bloggers post on The Mighty (which is one of my favorite ‘feel good’ sites). The title of the blog? My Son Isn’t Autistic on Weekends. (http://themighty.com/2015/03/my-son-isnt-autistic-on-weekends/)
Now – it’s problematic because of the title. We all know that our children are on the autism-spectrum regardless of how they function on any given day – HOWEVER, I get the point. I agree with the point.
At one of Tucker’s basketball games this winter the Middle School Cheerleaders (seriously…how cute are they?!?!?) performed a routine to Uptown Funk by Marc Ronson and Bruno Mars.
If you have been under a rock for the past few months…you can check out the song/video here.
Now, let me tell you that this song has become one of our ‘going to school and get excited’ themes. Every morning we rock on the way to school. Why? Why not start your morning by singing loud and being awesome with your children? So again, I would say – why not?
Tucker is a HUGE fan of Bruno Mars…and I mean HUGE. I enjoy his music – but this song? Seriously – if you can sit still, I’m not sure you’re human.
I realize that sometimes I still struggle to act my age (39). My children and I pulled up to the Middle School in our Suburban with Uptown Funk absolutely BLARING through the Bose speakers (I’m not touting the Bose speakers for materialism…but those speakers rock the bass). We sat and danced and sang and pointed at each other until the song finished. Then we looked and noticed that all of the other students were looking at us.
This is not the first time this scene has played out.
I’m just glad my children still think it’s awesome to turn it up loud, seat dance, and sing really loud with me.
So, we’re at this basketball game and the music begins. The boys are in a huddle. I’m trying not to dance, trying not to dance…and I can’t control myself….all of a sudden my shoulders begin shaking, then my head starts bobbing, then my feet start tapping, the next thing I know I’m rocking.
I look around – everyone I can see is sitting still. Everyone I see is sitting and appropriately watching the Middle School Cheerleaders.
How can that be?!?! I JUST. CANNOT. BE. STILL.
Then, I look down at Tucker in the huddle. His shoulders began shaking, then his head started bobbing, then his whole self started rocking. I smiled, huge, – he looked up at me and I gave him a Hasselfhoff double gun, what’s up look.
He winked back.
I was so torn. He should have followed the lead of the other boys. He should have been paying attention to what was going on in the huddle. Yet, he is who he is – and he’s never afraid of being his awesome self.
Is it autism that allows him to not worry about the judgement of other people?
Is it that, in our house, you should just be who you are?
That is why I understood this author. Is it autism or is it the reaction to a forced environment? The author wrote,
“Because on weekends when the doors stay closed and the pjs on and there aren’t any expectations except tickling and hugging and singing and pillow fights and whatever looks good in the fridge, he’s not autistic.
And because on weekends it’s Tinkerbell or Daniel Tiger on the iPad again and again and again. And maybe this time we will watch it together under the covers.
Because he’s just a little boy.
And because he’s my little boy.
And maybe these moments would be different if he wasn’t autistic, but I don’t really know.”
These words moved me and I’m left thinking…
Is he awesome because he has autism?
Is it autism that makes him awesome?