Day #93 – Dear Other Moms…

Dear Other Moms,

Do you have any idea how important you are? Amelia Barr was an author and historian who was among the first women to tout the importance of mothers (she also happened to write a book called ‘Remember the Alamo,’ John Wayne was a fan ;)).  She wrote, “The conviction of the mother’s influence over the fate of her children is old as the race itself; ancient history abounds with examples; and even the destinies of the gods are represented as in its power. It was the mothers of ancient Rome that made ancient Rome great; it was the Spartan mothers that made the Spartan heroes. Those sons went out conquerors whose mothers armed them with the command, ‘With your shield, or on it, my son!'”

Thank you.

Thank you for loving my boy.

Thank you for having his back.

Thank you for watching out for him.

Thank you for trying to understand him.

Thank you for toeing the line between support and pity.

Thank you for telling me how much you love and appreciate him.

Thank you for being considerate and asking what he likes to eat – then cutting off the crusts of his grilled cheese without question.

I had a mom reach out to me after reading Day #42 – The Trouble With Peers.  She forwarded the message onto her son who is in the same class as Tucker.  She copied me on the message.  She wrote, “I want you to read this.  This is how one of your classmates lives and thinks.  We will talk about this at supper tonight.”

Thank you for teaching your son about Tucker.  Thank you for not making it a big deal – but making it a big deal all at the same time.

Yesterday, after reading Day #91 – 25% another mom reached out and said, “Tucker probably doesn’t have a clue how many lives he impacts every day. He always brings a smile to my face when I see him. And he is always friendly and has something nice to say!”

Thank you for reaching out – you have NO idea how these comments make my heart sing and my face light up.  Even moreso, when I showed Tucker he beamed…and he needed that – all of our children do.

Another mom sent a FB message about him reading in church, “I meant to message you this earlier but that’s me for ya…. Your son did an amazing job in church last Sunday!:) He did it all so natural like a pro. I know you are proud and you should be!”

Thank you for that very kind compliment.  You know how difficult ‘church’ can be – and there you go, telling him he did an amazing job.  He was humbled and tears filled his eyes because of your kind words.

Another mom taught her son about Tucker’s ‘version’ of autism.  They have become great friends.  A month ago Tucker accidentally hit him in the face with a ball during PE.  This young man was so thoughtful that even while his face was stinging he knew that it would affect Tucker more than himself.  He knew that his face would heal – but that Tucker’s ability to ‘get over it’ is severely hampered.  Instead of reacting towards Tucker your son was compassionate and sat with him as he cried.  Your son assured Tucker that he knew it was an accident and it would be okay.

Thank you for teaching your son about compassion.

I know at times this blog may sound ‘attacking’ and I know at times you may feel guilt that your boys aren’t ‘besties’ with my Tucker.  Please don’t.  Please know that this is one of the most important gifts you give…

Thank you for not ‘forcing’ your boys to invite Tucker to birthday parties and other gatherings. Strange, but I mean that. He’s very bright-he knows the difference between true inclusion and patronage.  Including everyone in 1st grade is necessary, in 7th?  Not so much.

At the same time, thank you for always bringing your boys when Tucker invites them to our home.  It really does mean the world to him – and he talks about his ‘parties’ for days on end.  He is anxious for his next one – so please continue this encouragement. 

Most of all, thank you for teaching your boys about kindness, generosity, patience, and grace.

One day, they will be great men – the heroes of people.

All My Best,

The Mother of Tucker

p.s.  Dads you are pretty cool too – you’ll have your day in the ‘sun.’

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3 thoughts on “Day #93 – Dear Other Moms…

  1. Somehow I missed this one back when it was posted. Loved it! Sending our kids out into this world can be scary… Thank goodness for all the great parents and others who watch out for, encourage, and do right by our kids. “It takes a village to raise a child” is not just an African proverb… it’s the truth! 🙂

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    • For sure – I ALWAYS have your back…and your children. You have no idea how many times I wished I lived closer so I could just pop in and give you a break…even if for you to just run and grab a fountain pop. However, I do take pleasure in watching others take care of you and your family, even if I am a bit jealous. Love you, sister!

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  2. Pingback: Day #327 – Indexing | 366 Days of Autism

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