You may have noticed a common thread in many of my posts…faith.
What is it about faith? There were very few Sundays in my childhood that I didn’t spend at worship. While I didn’t necessarily love going to church, I did love being at church. It’s funny (in an ironic way) how much of life begins to make sense as we get older and put the pieces together.
I loved being at church for the ice cream socials and soup suppers. I love being there with my friends. I loved helping make potato salad and ice cream. The space always felt comforting to me.
However, I wasn’t always so willing to share my faith. Evangelizing is hard for so many of us – because we SO want to share all of the great lessons…but don’t want to seem pushy.
My faith and willingness to share has strengthened since Tucker came around. Maybe it’s age? Maybe it’s wisdom? Maybe it’s a keen understanding of how all things are connected. But…maybe…just maybe – it provides solace.
Solace in who he is.
Solace in who I am.
Solace in what we are doing.
When he was four we had an amazing Pastor named Tom Jones. No, I’m not joking – and NO he was not an ‘entertainer.’ He was, however, a former engineer – being a Pastor was his second career. He was so patient with Tucker. Tucker LOVED him. In fact, one day he proclaimed that he wanted to be a Pastor.
When I asked why he stated, “Pastor Tom gets to hang out at church, talk with old ladies, and every time I see him he’s eating a donut.” Of course, that makes perfect sense.
The necessity of faith for me now is a type of faith that leads me to believe that no matter what…Tucker will be fine. Why? Because he is a beloved child of God – because as my faith grows…my trust in His plan grows.
Maybe growing in my own faith has helped me have a new understanding of not trying to ‘fix’ him. He is not broken. I simply refocused on helping him become the best he can be – helping him evolve into the person that God intended.
He IS special.
He IS unique.
He IS one of a kind.
He IS who he IS.
So am I.
So are we all.
It’s just one of the many reasons I have a strong dislike for all the labels. Does it really matter? I mean, really. Shouldn’t we simply do the best for everyone, for all children?
So, I’ll continue to refer to and count on faith…because there are moments where everything comes crashing around me and I just have to believe that there is something more, there is something bigger, there is something in the larger plan.
There just has to be…because in those moments that’s all I have left.