One of the things that is really ‘striking my fancy’ about writing this blog is how I’ve refocused on Tucker. Refocused on why we do what we do – how we say what we say. Along with this…my best laid plans go awry. It doesn’t really matter what each day’s post is about – but I have a plan. I have a plan because I’ve been writing for two years already.
But, last night at supper the plan went awry again. New topic. New post.
My bonus kid, Alex. Yes, I call him bonus, not step. He’s not a ‘thing’ in my house. He is an amazing human being – and he is a BIG bonus. You know like when you used to play Mario Brothers and you would hit one of those boxes and then you could jump super duper fast and you would get all kinds of coins? That’s what he is like. He adds a lot of really awesome extra coins (albeit ‘intrinsic’ coins) to our lives.
So, tonight we were sitting and eating supper. Like we do on most nights. He’s often working or shooting hoops – but when he is home we all sit and eat together. I think it will forever be one of my favorite times…sitting, eating, talking, and laughing. Tucker and his sister are enthralled with their ‘Senior bonus brother.’ I said to Tucker,
Me: “We have Coronation tonight at 8 PM, so be prepared for that.”
Tucker: “What’s Coronation?” (I then realize that I haven’t really explained this whole thing to him.)
Me: “Alex is like a Prince and tonight we go see if his friends elected him King.”
Tucker: “Huh? Alex is a Prince?” (I then realize that this is NOT the way to explain this. Alex has been with us long enough that he’s just looking at me with a cheesy grin, he knows I have just put myself in a serious pickle.)
Me: “No, he is not a Prince. Tucker – it’s hard to explain. The students choose eight young women and eight young men for the Homecoming Court. Then, they vote again to select a King and Queen.”
Tucker: “Well…do they play a game on the court?”
Me: “No, it’s not that kind of court.”
Tucker: “Well…I don’t understand what kind of court and what is the purpose of all this?”
Me: “Well…I don’t really know.”
Tucker: “Seriously – what’s it all about? Why would a group of people elect another group of people to elect a King and Queen. I mean it’s not like we live in England or back so many years ago.”
Me: “Tucker, I don’t know. It’s just tradition. I know it seems silly – my school also had a Homecoming Court. But, you’re right – I’m not sure there really is a point.”
Tucker: “Okay…so I have to go to this thing that doesn’t really have a purpose?”
Me: “Yes. Yes, you do.”
Bless his heart.
This has to be one of the most disheartening and heartwarming factors all at once. I know when other children are being mean. I see them making fun of him. I know what they are thinking – I see it in their faces. I see it in their actions, when he’s left out…left alone while the other boys go play. As other boys (mostly their awesome parents) have made an attempt to get to know Tucker it has become MUCH better. Bless those parents by the way…who talk with their children about everyone being different and wonderful in their own way.
I love who he is. I wouldn’t change one thing about him – not even the meltdowns. He tells me that he’s not a ‘popular’ kid. In the next sentence he will tell me that he ‘doesn’t understand who chooses the popular kids.’ This was made even more obvious from the conversation last night. To him, everything has to have meaning – otherwise it’s ultra confusing.
He is still mostly unaware of how other children (tweens) are to him, but last year came home and said, “I tried to give a girl a high-five and she looked at me and said I don’t give high fives to weirdos.” I know it’s coming…but in the meantime all I can do is pray…
Thank you God for making him unassumingly unaware of the injustices that are going on around him. Please teach those around him to show acceptance, love, and patience to all. We never know what battle someone is facing on any particular day.
Can I get an AMEN?!?!? Even from those of you who may not say Amen. Can I get an AMEN for the encouragement to stop all of this ‘popular kid’ business?
Amen. I say. Amen.